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I'll forreal make a post about this later today though!

FRUSTRATION!

I missed my conference qualifying time by ONE ONE-HUNDREDTH of a second. THAT'S NOTHING. Your eyes don't blink that fast. That is literally faster than the blink of an eye.

Worst part? It was probably the best race of my life but I spent 700 of those 800 meters in lane 2 because there were just too many damn people in the heat and I couldn't get a break. I'm pretty salty. And by that, I mean that 30 hours later I still am furious. My coach was like now calm down, that's not the official time as I ran off into the great unknown in a huff. It was. I'm still. Salty. About. This. I think I will be for a long time. It's like that scene in without limits. I'm just...crushed. Because I ran the best I could ever ask for, the conditions just weren't right.

And on the flip side, I ran a 52 in the 400 EXHAUSTED. Not just tired but literally exhausted. Coach pulled the, "So I put you on the A team 4x4 since it looks like you had some energy left after that 8." And my other coach was like "You're still salty about that 8? Well put it into this 4." So I fucking did. And when it comes down to it, I discovered my love of racing again. It took a while. I'll always love to run but loving to race is a rare feeling. It's just a shame I got it in my last meet.

I just like(keep coming back to this), I hit the 400 in 58 and I hadn't even touched lane one yet and the one thought I had that entire race occurred right there, break into one and it's over. Unfortunately I spent another 300 meters trying to do it. And then as soon as I did, the guy in front of me pulled an E-break and I had to shove him and go around. It's like the stars were just aligned against me but I did everything I could do to spite them. 2:01.5 should have been more like 159:9 or 2:00. Coulda, shoulda, woulda. BUT GOD. One one-hundredth of a second. As FURIOUS as I am, I think this is good. I know I can run fast now. I'm just a different animal in those shorter mid distance events. I may be built like a miler and train like one but my mind is suited for the 8. Those middle laps are where I lose it in the mile. There aren't any middle laps in an 8. Too bad I have to go back to the 8k now. But honestly, I'm excited about that too. I'm just god damn excited about running again.

I may still run the 400 at conferences though. As pathetic as it sounds, that 52 ranks me 6th in the 400. I run cross country...I should not be running conferences in the 400. I haven't run one fresh in years though so I bet I can run mid to low 51s, maybe even a 50 if I run it fresh and rested. We'll have to see though. I'm pretty damn beat up from this meet and I would not mind the rest before I start training again for cross. But one point could make or break this meet and I'm willing to bust my ass for it if that's what this team needs.

You know what though? I had a good weekend. I have had a ROUGH last couple of weeks. Really rough. But I ran some incredible races, spent some time with a really close friend, made some plans for after this semester is over and finally just relaxed. Any other day, I'd be like ahhh god, gotta go to bed before midnight, gotta do this, gotta do this. It's refreshing to just...not.

12 Minutes

I'm about to go to dinner and I decided to spend the 12 minutes before I do doing this. I've been practicing literally all day and my brain is addled.

Other than that...?


I ate a lemon last night? They told me I wouldn't so I stuck half a lemon (rind and all) in my mouth and started chewing. I swallowed most of it...But then they told me to spit it out so I happily did. It wasn't as bad as I thought to be honest but when I was squeezing lemon into my tea this morning I got really sick to my stomach.

Ummm, ran a shitty meet this weekend? It was run soooo terribly. There weren't any USATF officials so I don't know how they got away with that. I got on the line for the 800 and he was like "Okay ready?" and put the gun up. I was like uhhh ok? And then he fired it. Also, during the 1500 they had the wire from the gun(since it wasn't flash based) running across the starting line....so people had to jump it. Sooo bad. It was also 45 and raining. In april. Whatever.

Dinner time, if my stomach can handle it.

Daylight Savings Time Should Be Abolished

Did you know that states which still have daylight savings time perform dramatically lower on the SATs than those that don't? Something about messing with your sleep cycle.

I wasn't in the know that the flip was going to happen so when I woke up this morning and my clock said 11 and everything else said 12 I was mighty confused.

Also, I said fuck it and bought raman. Extreme pursuit of health < being happy. And raman (ramen?) makes me happy. Someone got really bothered that I spelled it ramen and said it was raman so that's how I always do it now since it made such an impression on me. Hm.

I ran a workout on Friday that I am still feeling today and two runs later. Whattt? Coach was like "I don't know what drugs I'm on so we'll see how this goes!" It sucked. But I guess it was good for me. I think I'm in better shape than I've ever been before, though I don't really feel like it. I was pretty effortlessly running quick times. Except on the last 200. That was embarrassing. I was so wiped out by the end. If you had put 1000000 dollars on the line and said break 27 and you can have it, I would have failed miserably. Well maybe not miserably. But I woulda failed. I thought I was hauling ass since I was pretty much putting everything I had left and I went 28 low. Ouchhhhhh. That's so slow. I remember when that used to be fast though. In 8th grade.

Shit sucks. So I thought I would blog about it. Well, not about it, because, you know, that's too public. Did I use enough comas?

Girls are stupid.

Promise, I'm trying to keep this up.

This break has been pretty pathetic, yet relaxing. I wake up drag my ass out of bed at the early hour of 11, don my running apparel (no shirt, hair pulled back, short shorts yesterday and under armor, jacket and hat today) and go out on a run. Usually they suck. Because I like running at 3 and it's ll. <--- that's el el by the way. Not one one. Funny how they look the same. Almost. One or the other of my parents then takes me out to lunch and after I sit on my ass until about 6 o clock. Now that my computer is all fixed up I start playing Star Craft around 6 and don't stop till 11 or 12. Then I go to sleep.
LAME.

There's some guitar playing in there too, but not much. I have to write my homework program for comp sci tomorrow. Fuuuuuuuu. It's gonna be a major pain in the ass (I think ass is my most said word in this post). I know HOW to do it, it's just the execution and actually sitting down and putting the work in. I know I'll get into it once I start but....physics.


I'm going to go be less than worthless now though and read!

/short boring post.



ALSO. One last thing. In a conversation I was having with someone, they said Bieber (ei?) was more talented than Lady Gaga and that's why they could respect him but not her....Siiiiiiikeeeeee.

Going Strong!

Ever since I called out that light it stopped and HASN'T done anything. Without fail. K cool. Thanks asshole.

I really, really want to be sleeping right now but once I lay down I can't seem to stay still. Butttt when I sit up I want to lay down. I'm just writing this to kill time before I go get coffee and go to guitar ensemble. Yay.

Guitar ensemble isn't turning out to be the greatest thing ever, not that I thought it would really. It's just frustrating!!! I only like one of the guys in it. I like him a lot but the rest are just...ARHAHHRHAHEHEH!!!!! Lrn 2 ply gitur. Kthx. I see why people hate guitar players now. I really do. I used to be all like "You don't need to read music! You don't need to know anything!" but really you do. Unless you're in a pop rock band or something. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Don't get me wrong. But everything is better with the ability to read and think about music. There are plenty of people who are better musicians and wayy more successful than me that are ignorant of the finer points of music but STILL. Playing with a group in a professional music setting....you need to know your stuff. It's a necessity. We can't be messing up quarter and eighth note values on the 10th time through the piece. UGH /rant

new subject.

Here's a story. So I went to this college for an indoor track meet. I'm not gonna rep the name because I don't want to be murdered in my sleep but you will know what it is. I had just run my 1000 and I was going to get my ritualistic post race pepsi ( like that. post race pepsi) and these girls were at the vending machine beside me or something and short a quarter or something and since I had just used 2 dollar bills I had 3 quarters left over. I was just kinda like oh hey here you go and gave them the quarters.

There was this guy standing behind me and he IMMEDIATELY pounced on me and was like HEY! I just sort of looked and him and was like....hey what's up? He proceeded to tell me how he really liked what I did and how generous my soul was that I gave to those in need without hesitation or something(yeah 3 quarters doens't even do a load of laundry. nbd) and asked if I was a christian. I knew exactly where the conversation was going to go but I went ahead and said no anyway. Poor. Life. Choice.

I spent the next 45 minutes being lectured about how christianity had saved this man's soul. How he had at one point been addicted to pornography (addicted? I know right? wtf?) and alcohol and some other TERRIBLE stuff and how through christ he had been saved. He spent that whole time telling me that God loved me SO much he sent his only son to die for me and that christ died for me because he loved me and wanted me to be spared. He also always reminded me that I would go to hell if I didn't convert though. He also told me that while running is great, it's only because God gave us the ability to be athletic and we really do it to praise him and honor him. Shoulda just said yep! Praise the lord!

But here's the important part I guess. It scared the hell out of me. That's why I wasn't just like, yeah praise satan, peace. I made eye contact with him now and then and he was so ridiculously passionate that he was on the verge of tears the whole time. He was fanatical. I think he would have done ANYTHING in the name of god. He was willing to get down on his knees and beg for me to give myself to christianity. This is why we have fucking problems. This is why people are willing to blow themselves up in the name of their god. It scares me. Why are people SO willing to die for something that well, debate with me all you want, HAS NO PROOF! You are willing to KILL and DIE on faith? You are willing to MURDER on faith that you are doing the right thing? If I'm in the hospital, I don't want the doctor to have faith that he's going to do the right thing. I want fucking hard ass evidence that what he's about to do isn't going to kill me. If I were ever to even CONSIDER THINKING about killing someone, I would make damn sure it was worth it. Not go on faith that they deserved it or that it was right.


I know that whole thing is a piece of syntactical genius so don't bother spending the time to check it for errors. :P
I got a 97 on one of Fielding's papers, I have nothing to prove.

That's not really a good post though is it?

But this sucks.




For something that doesn't suck.

Play with the fishies--------->


Someone please explain this to me. Last year, there was this light on top of the hill going down to my dorm and every night I would walk by it on my way home from practice/dinner. And every night it would turn on right when I noticed it. Every single night. Without fail. For the entire time I lived in that dorm and came back after dark. For a short period of time there was also one down at the bottom of the hill that would turn off if I came back around twilight. But it didn't do this for anyone else, they thought I was crazy until they walked back with me enough to know it always happened. NOW there's another one outside of my new dorm that just turns off when I walk by it. Every night. Without fail.

...


What the hell?

Really? What is this voodoo?

Any explanations? I got none.


Ummm, watch a movie!



From the TV series Dexter