Ever since I called out that light it stopped and HASN'T done anything. Without fail. K cool. Thanks asshole.
I really, really want to be sleeping right now but once I lay down I can't seem to stay still. Butttt when I sit up I want to lay down. I'm just writing this to kill time before I go get coffee and go to guitar ensemble. Yay.
Guitar ensemble isn't turning out to be the greatest thing ever, not that I thought it would really. It's just frustrating!!! I only like one of the guys in it. I like him a lot but the rest are just...ARHAHHRHAHEHEH!!!!! Lrn 2 ply gitur. Kthx. I see why people hate guitar players now. I really do. I used to be all like "You don't need to read music! You don't need to know anything!" but really you do. Unless you're in a pop rock band or something. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Don't get me wrong. But everything is better with the ability to read and think about music. There are plenty of people who are better musicians and wayy more successful than me that are ignorant of the finer points of music but STILL. Playing with a group in a professional music setting....you need to know your stuff. It's a necessity. We can't be messing up quarter and eighth note values on the 10th time through the piece. UGH /rant
new subject.
Here's a story. So I went to this college for an indoor track meet. I'm not gonna rep the name because I don't want to be murdered in my sleep but you will know what it is. I had just run my 1000 and I was going to get my ritualistic post race pepsi ( like that. post race pepsi) and these girls were at the vending machine beside me or something and short a quarter or something and since I had just used 2 dollar bills I had 3 quarters left over. I was just kinda like oh hey here you go and gave them the quarters.
There was this guy standing behind me and he IMMEDIATELY pounced on me and was like HEY! I just sort of looked and him and was like....hey what's up? He proceeded to tell me how he really liked what I did and how generous my soul was that I gave to those in need without hesitation or something(yeah 3 quarters doens't even do a load of laundry. nbd) and asked if I was a christian. I knew exactly where the conversation was going to go but I went ahead and said no anyway. Poor. Life. Choice.
I spent the next 45 minutes being lectured about how christianity had saved this man's soul. How he had at one point been addicted to pornography (addicted? I know right? wtf?) and alcohol and some other TERRIBLE stuff and how through christ he had been saved. He spent that whole time telling me that God loved me SO much he sent his only son to die for me and that christ died for me because he loved me and wanted me to be spared. He also always reminded me that I would go to hell if I didn't convert though. He also told me that while running is great, it's only because God gave us the ability to be athletic and we really do it to praise him and honor him. Shoulda just said yep! Praise the lord!
But here's the important part I guess. It scared the hell out of me. That's why I wasn't just like, yeah praise satan, peace. I made eye contact with him now and then and he was so ridiculously passionate that he was on the verge of tears the whole time. He was fanatical. I think he would have done ANYTHING in the name of god. He was willing to get down on his knees and beg for me to give myself to christianity. This is why we have fucking problems. This is why people are willing to blow themselves up in the name of their god. It scares me. Why are people SO willing to die for something that well, debate with me all you want, HAS NO PROOF! You are willing to KILL and DIE on faith? You are willing to MURDER on faith that you are doing the right thing? If I'm in the hospital, I don't want the doctor to have faith that he's going to do the right thing. I want fucking hard ass evidence that what he's about to do isn't going to kill me. If I were ever to even CONSIDER THINKING about killing someone, I would make damn sure it was worth it. Not go on faith that they deserved it or that it was right.
I know that whole thing is a piece of syntactical genius so don't bother spending the time to check it for errors. :P
I got a 97 on one of Fielding's papers, I have nothing to prove.
4 comments:
I understand why creepy fanatics are terrifying, but was this guy really so wrong? I mean, in his mind Christianity really did turn his life around. It gave him a purpose and he wants to share it with people. Yeah, it seems weird when he tries to explain it to well-adjusted people but I don't think you can immediately equate his excitement with people who kill in the name of God.
Yes, fanaticism does lead to killing but I think passionate faith can do a lot of good as well.I think it's better for people to have faith, to feel like they have a role to play in the grand scheme of things, than for everyone to be jaded and cynical. Can you imagine how annoying and terrifying that would be? If no one gave a fuck about anything. It's not so much about whether the thing people believe in is real or not, it's that they believe in something, anything.It's a kind of sincerity and honesty that's quickly evaporating in this culture of irony and sarcasm.
Let's consider the crazy guy. Before he had faith in anything, he'll be the first to admit he was a total loser, a waste of space. What was to stop him from killing himself? What was to stop him from going on a killing spree like so many other alienated, defeated people? When you think about the soul-crushing anonymity of the modern world,the hell that is neglect and abuse while being constantly surrounded by strangers, it's a miracle that anything could turn this guy's life around. If faith can make even this guy believe in himself, believe that he has a purpose in a faceless world and get HIM to try to make a difference, that's a pretty amazing thing. That's pretty damn amazing.
You made really good points that make me think, as always. I've been chewing on a response for a while and I can't really come up with a good one.
It would be terrifying if no one cared about anything and everyone was cynical. Books like that terrify me. I just lack the ability to believe and I mean truly believe in something that in my honest opinion doesn't exist. Because of that I find it hard to appreciate that belief in others.
That third paragraph is a work of art haha. Just saying.
It is incredible that he managed to turn his life around. But he did it for an insubstantial reason. Why not turn his life around for HIMSELF. For the betterment of himself and society, not for the potential reward of spending eternity with God and not because someone died for his sins. Okay, his love of God has obviously led to the betterment of his life and (with the exception of making me exceptionally uncomfortable) the betterment of the lives around him. But not because HE wanted to or because he realized society would benefit from his change. Because of God.
That seems wrong to me. It seems thin. Maybe I expect too much. I want people to be decent human beings because they want to and they realize the need, not because of a potential reward. The reward of simply being alive should be enough. The threat of the destruction our planet and damaging the lives of those around us should be the incentive to not be worthless, not eternal salvation.
I have a skewed view on this. I have a very good life, no one tries to kill me on a daily basis, I don't have to wonder when my next meal will be, I'm not hated simply because of who my parents are. I have a reliable income of the necessities in life as well as the benefits of musical instruments, nice clothes, a cell phone, a computer. But so do most people in America.
I don't know. That's my take.
Andy, I like your point about how passionate faith can do good, that it's better for people to have faith if that's all that's preventing them from having an otherwise cynical outlook on life. The disconnect for me is that faith in so many ways, big and small, detracts from life, harms the believer, harms those around him, and harms society at large. One of the most harmful things it does is allow us to be content with answers that are convenient whether or not they are right. It allows us to rationalize a halt in questioning and understanding that is not actually justified.
And then there's the question of what ethics look like in a person governed by faith. Faith allows someone to believe they transcend the ethical when acting in accordance with their faith. There's the saying that being ethical means doing with is right regardless of what you are told, and faith means doing what you are told regardless of what is right. And this I think is a good way of summing that point up.
That coupled with the fact that people can and do get the sense that they have a role to play in the world. We live with the existential question of how to find meaning in a world that lacks any inherent meaning, but this doesn't mean turning to faith is the only way or the best way to find that meaning. Personally, I find the most meaning in my relationships with others, my passion for literature and language, my ability to positively affect the world around me, and through a simple recognition that the world has so many potentially awesome things to fill my future with that I'm excited to stick around to see it (although of course sometimes the world doesn't seem as friendly). In short, I find meaning in what makes me happy, even though life itself has no inherent meaning. And if I can get this without religion, so can other people.
So, given this possibility, faith just simply isn't worth it, overall. I think in general, faith does much more harm than it does good.
I agree with you; I think people should do things for themselves because they want to better their lives and better the world around them. That makes complete sense. Since coming to college though I've seen a lot of people that have every reason to believe in themselves, all the talent necessary to do something, and they just don't. For whatever reason, they just can't believe in their potential.
As best I can tell, it probably stems from a lack of running over 50 miles a week, but if a person can't do that, then I guess a positive alternative is to have faith in something else.
As for my faith, I stole it from George Carlin.
"And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can't see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I'm big on that. If I can see something, I don't know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least there are no crucifixions, and we're not setting people on fire simply because they don't agree with us.
Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to compare clothing. And the best thing about the sun, it never tells me I'm unworthy. Doesn't tell me I'm a bad person who needs to be saved. Hasn't said an unkind word. Treats me fine. So, I worship the sun. But, I don't pray to the sun. Know why? I wouldn't presume on our friendship. It's not polite."
I also read a really good poem about the sun but I'll spare you that.
Go sun!
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